The other day, I had the privilege of helping my seventeen year-old daughter change the engine oil in her car. It was something that she really wanted to do and I couldn’t believe it. Of course, she couldn’t do it by herself because she has no tools; she had to use mine and that’s okay.  

I asked her why she didn’t go to a “quickie” oil changing station, pay $20 (or whatever it is) and not get grungy. She said that she didn’t trust the kind of oil that they put in the car, besides, it was something that she always wanted to try. She’s like her mother. who likes to work on her own car.

I was amazed at her choice of clothing: white tee shirt, red basketball practice shorts and flip-flops. I told her that she would be getting on the ground, under the car and stuff like that, but she didn’t seem to care. People should realize that safety is a major concern when working on a car, both for you and your car! In the video, [1] “Basic Car Maintenance For Pretty Hands!”, the makers attempt to super-emphasize proper safety practices, to give the viewer the right idea about personal safety around a car.

Flip-flops are not the kind of shoes that one should wear when working on a car, even if it is just changing oil. I believe it is a kind of safety mentality that causes us to prepare ourselves, no matter what we’re doing on a car. Wear work clothes and work shoes. Not only will it prepare you mentally for the work that has to be done, but your arms, legs and feet would be better protected from splashing fluids, dirt, snags, dropped tools and such, than they would be with the kind of clothing my daughter wore.

Anyway, along with the oil, she changed the oil filter as well. Of course the filter was almost inaccessible. I had to find it for her and loosen it so she could get it off the rest of the way. She wouldn’t let me do it at first because she wanted to see if she could do it. Needless to say, the filter was installed too tight. Oil filters do not need to be installed so tightly that one needs a special tool to remove them: as long as they are tight enough to prevent oil leakage.

She lay on the ground looking for the oil drain plug when her shoulder started to hurt her. She had a rotator cuff repaired a short time ago that was damaged from a basketball game injury. So I quickly found the plug, broke it loose (it was too tight as well) and let her take it off the rest of the way.

The oil was successfully drained and she reinstalled the plug. One needs to install the plug and tighten it to the manufacturer’s recommendations. In reality, the plug should be torque-tightened until the inexperienced mechanic (in this case, my daughter) has an idea of how much torque to put on the plug. The reason is simple: over-tightening (over torque-tightening) the plug will damage the threads on the plug, which could lead to costly repairs.

Torque-tightening involves the use of a torque wrench, which I believe all new mechanics should own. Unfortunately, they can be expensive, but the benefits justify the cost I believe. There have been many over-torqued bolts and nuts that have had to be replaced because in the inexperienced mechanic didn’t know his or her own strength. NEVER OVER-TIGHTEN THE OIL PLUG.

Well we “got er done” as the saying goes and my daughter serviced the engine with her new oil. I could see the hint of personal satisfaction on her face as she did this (it was almost like she was feeding a baby).

The biggest thing I got out of the task was spending time with my daughter. It was really fun because she was learning, her car was getting maintenance and we were together. I know that she will be on her own very shortly and this little time we spent together will be something that I’ll look back on and remember. I hope she will too.  

Something how this modern age has us more alone than families used to be in the olden days: when the family farm was always a beckoning job for the whole family. The whole family worked together and that alone created a stronger family unit because of all the time the family spent together. Older family members were not carted off to nursing homes, they stayed on the farm and the younger ones took care of them until they died and then they were buried on the farm.

I’m not saying we should give up our advances, I’m saying we should find things to work on, involving our families: A garden, a tree-house, a pet house, anything to spend time with our children where they can see us in a different light a different way, from a new angle. I made it a point to take my kids to where I work to let them see the part of my life that takes up one third of my time. Had I never done that, they would not have understood me from that angle.